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According to John Krasinski on Letterman: A "greyhound" is vodka and grapefruit juice. I don't like grapefruit juice.

But I do like John Krasinski.

Oh snap!

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Today I learned about this thing called "indigo children." This is a kind of New Age term for children who have certain characteristics (sense of entitlement, trouble with authority, thinking outside the box, stubborn, easily frustrated) and who are also believed to have some supernatural-type abilities (ESP, telepathy, extreme longevity). Coincidentally, a lot of these kids are named things like Dusk and Jade. Actual science really has no interest in all this. That community feels like at best kids with these qualities are just a new generation of kids who are kind of spoiled and poorly brought up, and at worst they are kids with Asperger's, autism, or ADHD who are going undiagnosed/untreated.

People are nuts, if you ask me.

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Something from the Straight Dope for today. Something I had actually wondered about: why the "U" shaped, open-front seats on toilets in public restrooms? The answer is because people (mostly men, it says, though women always freaking leave drips there too when they get up) drip/splash on the front of the seat there, so the solution is to leave that part of the seat off. Genius, no? Well...no. I mean, it doesn't make that much sense to me. People are still going to drip/splash on the rim of the toilet in that same spot. You still have to look at the drip/splash, and you don't sit on that part of the seat anymore than you sit on the rim of the toilet up there, so...I don't know. I guess they don't have to make sense, I just have to learn 'em.

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Saturday I learned what makes bratwurst so delicious. There isn't much to Johnsonville brats, they're mostly just pork, corn syrup, and a few seasonings. Mmmm, sugary pork. More please.

Yesterday I looked up the lyrics to "Asleep" by the Smiths because it is in the book that I am reading right now (The Perks of Being a Wallflower). It's about killing yourself, go figure.

Today I looked up "weck," the original third W in "BW3s." I had learned that before but forgotten, so it's okay. Weck is short for "kummelweck" which is a type of roll with caraway seeds and pretzel salt on top; a common food in the Buffalo area is a beef on weck sandwich, which is, uh, pretty much what it sounds like. B-Dubs originally served this sandwich but now they don't. They also do not serve me free wings, even though they should.

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This is just amazing. I would love to see that in person. I guess all I really learned is the picture and the caption under it but I really do want to go to bed like right now. It looks so cool though.

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Wednesday I learned about the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge. It is a giant suspension bridge that connects Staten Island to Brooklyn. The towers supporting the bridge are an inch and a half farther apart at their tops than at their bottoms; the bridge is so long that the earth's curvature had to be taken into account. The bridge is referenced in the Rhett Miller song "Hover" and also in the book I'm currently reading at work. So that's why I looked it up. (Total side note, but Rhett's real name is Stewart Ransom Miller, and one of my favorite lines from any 97's song is "My name's Stewart Ransom Miller, I'm a serial lady killer." I'm sorry but that would totally work on me.)


For today, randomly (or is it??), etymology of the word "satellite."

122

Today I learned that miniature golf ("putt putt") is growing in popularity as a competition sport. There are federations/associations, international tournaments, etc. http://prominigolf.com/

As I've said so many times in this blog: WTF?

121

Hmmm. Nimrod.

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Last week I learned of this hilarious, rad website: http://tortillajoke.com/ . This website gives you the punchlines (for free) to the jokes featured on Last Comic Standing. On the show they give you the joke and then you have to text them (for one dollar) to get the punchline to the lame joke...they are the kinds of jokes that you find on the sticks of pudding pops, where you get the punchline after you eat the pudding pop. Except in this case instead of eating a delicious pudding pop, you have to pay one dollar. That is why I will be supporting tortillajoke.com. Bill and I both figured out the punchline to What's orange and sounds like a parrot? (Carrot.) I had heard the bucaneer joke before but couldn't remember the punchline. Tos-TADA is new to me but still totally, totally lame.

Saturday I learned that box turtles, the kind of turtles that a lot of people have for pets, can live up to 120 years in the wild. Jesus Christ! That is crazy! They can also live their whole lives in a patch of woods no larger than a football field. Bill and I saw a turtle in Hoff Woods Park, and for a while I felt bad about not picking it up and bringing it home (I thought maybe somebody had dropped their pet off after getting sick of it), but now I know better. Read more about that turtle in my other blog sometime in the near future. Turtles!

Today I learned that the movie I Am Legend (coming out this winter) is based on the 1954 science fiction novel of the same name. It's been adapted twice before, into The Last Man on Earth (1964) and The Omega Man (1971).

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Today I learned that Mushaboom is, like, an actual place. In Nova Scotia. Ooooooooh. Okay. My life makes a lot more sense now.

116

Today I learned that Mr. Wizard died yesterday. Aww, sadcakes. He was 89 though, that is pretty old. I remember one episode where he made caramel corn. He must have been talking about caramelizing sugar or something. Unsurprisingly, I pretty much just remember the caramel corn.

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Today I learned that there is a Just Pies store located like 3 minutes from my house. I thought the only one was in Worthington. Yeah. That noise you hear is my head exploding from joy. Also possibly my footsteps after I eat nothing but pie for a month and gain 500 pounds.

Totally worth it.

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Today I learned about those CAPTCHA code things. The funniest thing I learned is that "CAPTCHA" is a pathetic, half-assed stretch of an acronym: Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart. Come ON.

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Saturday I learned about the size of a keg. From Wikipedia:

A keg is also a standard unit of measure, named for the container described above. A full keg is a 15.5 US gallon barrel, routinely called a half-barrel; a half keg or pony keg is called a quarter-barrel and has a volume of 7.75 US gallons.

A keg is also equal to:

• 12.5 Imperial gallons (UK)
• 58.67 litres
• 100 Imperial pints (UK)
• 120 US pints
• 165 12 oz drinks
• About 6.83 cases (1 case = 24 units) of 12oz cans of beer

Today I learned some things to say, do, and wear on a job interview. I knew most of them already, but it doesn't hurt to look, right?

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This is a good one! On Wenesday Bill and I went for a walk, and I noticed this bright, bright red bug crawling along the path. We bent down and looked at it for a while; neither one of us had ever seen one before. Turns out it is a red velvet mite. I guess you can kind of tell from the pictures, but they are seriously SO red. I mean, it's smaller than a lady bug, and I noticed it on the ground just walking by.

Actually the funniest thing happened...while we were crouched down looking at it, this lady walked by and was just like "Do you see anything?" and bent down and started looking too, and then we talked about the bug. It just struck me as random that she saw me looking at something and just thought she'd have a look too. I mean, she wasn't crazy or anything, she was just curious. And then she put up a little stick barricade so the bug wouldn't walk out onto the path and get squooshed. Haha.

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Today I learned about Georges Melies. He was a French filmmaker back in the early days of movies. He was a magician before that; when he started making movies, he used a lot of trick photography and special effects, and he was one of the first to make these fantastical type films instead of just showing bits of reality. Probably his most famous movie was A Trip To The Moon. Does this look familiar? How about this? Yep, the video for Tonight Tonight is pretty much based on the Melies film. Cool.

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Today I learned about handcuffs. There are two main types of handcuffs; the kind with a chain connecting the cuffs, and a kind that uses a hinge instead. There are also those "plasticuffs" things which are basically plastic cable ties. Airplanes have these on board--for terrorists one would assume, though they probably get used a lot more on drunken assholes.

To escape from handcuffs you have to either squeeze your hands out somehow or pick the lock. Police handcuffs shouldn't be used for, erm, recreational purposes, because they can cause nerve or tissue damage. In...case you were wondering.

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So sleepy....must blog...

I learned about Prednisone today. It is a synthetic corticosteroid drug that can used to be treat autoimmune disorders, inflammatory diseases, and organ rejection. Side effects can include hyperactivity, upset stomach, and infections. Also it tastes really bad.

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Saturday I learned about the differences in mattress sizes. Go here to see a chart.

Sunday I learned how to spell "Sodom and Gomorrah." Give me a break, that counts. I was looking it up for the LOL Testament.

Today I learned about the Pool at Highlands Park here in Westerville. Swimming!

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Yesterday, unfortunately, I learned about scabies. Here is a fact sheet on scabies. Scabies are gross. You can have them for weeks before you even know they're there. They poop, fornicate, and lay eggs in you. Fortunately they are easy to kill.

Today I learned about Elmyra from Tiny Toons. Remember her? I learned about her because I was talking about how I smoosh the hell out of my cats until they run away from me. I can't help that they are fat and squishy. Anyway, Elmyra's name was Elmyra Duff, which was a takeoff on Elmer Fudd...Elmyra=Elmer, and "Duff" is "Fudd" said backward. I never knew that.